Ending 2020

I know tomorrow is another day, but I’m the type of person who likes the idea of a new year being a fresh start. I think this year we’re all feeling that way, and I also think that by December 31st we’re all sick of people rolling their eyes and wishing 2020 away. Because we’re all living the same thing, even if half (or more?) of the population is in total denial of it. Nothing will change tomorrow, but it feels like a (slightly) brighter start. The light at the end of the tunnel is growing brighter.

This year has been hard for a lot of people. And it’s been devastating for a lot of people. And some people weren’t really affected by anything. I have to check my privilege here, because this year was not terrible for me. I don’t want to push toxic positivity and sound like everything works out in the end, but… it did? For me? This year? And I’m so grateful.

Again, coming from a place of privilege.

I didn’t lose my job when the pandemic hit. I was able to work from home. Once I realized the situation wasn’t sustainable, I was able to search for another job. I was able to pivot and, thanks to my education and previous experience, I am back doing what I’ve always wanted to do. What I used to do, except now, it’s better. All that hard work I put in years ago, barely getting by, paid off. I’m writing for a living and making good money doing so. It’s… mind-boggling, honestly.

from @howmental

^ That. Completely. I have tough days but even when things seem hard, I recline back (because I am working from home in my cushy desk chair) and realize that I still have it so good. I wouldn’t trade this for the world.

I also keep thinking about something I read regarding “don’t quit your day job,” when someone argued that point by saying if you have a day job, you’re not going to take risks to make it on your own. And that has been true for me for over a decade, since I was just a kid (ha) in college with big dreams. So in some sick way, I’m kind of grateful that this year pushed me to my breaking point so I could start rebuilding it all the way I want it to be.

Published by Allison

Allison Renner is a writer, librarian, and photographer. She has a passion for telling stories through different media.

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