I’ve been writing every day for nine months now. It’s an accomplishment, and I should be proud (and I am…), but in true me fashion, I have to analyze it to death.
See, I’ve been writing morning pages. Sure, I’m getting up before 5:30am and putting pen to paper (literally), but it’s just a brain dump, or thinking about the day, or remembering a dream.
I need to remember the habit I’m forming is important – that’s the goal. The dedication of waking up early and writing.
I might not be writing fiction every day, but I’m writing fiction more. I still miss being in writing workshops that pushed me to finish a story, to polish it until I felt comfortable (or delightfully uncomfortable) with others reading it.
I loved how stories came to me from nowhere, and stuck with me until I got them on paper. I’m getting better at this – Judy Blume recommended keeping an idea box, so you best believe I’m keeping an idea box. Story concepts don’t stick with me like they used to, with my memory now being like a sieve, and overloaded with all of the things I need to do every day to keep me and my kid afloat. Writing down random thoughts and observances helps me stay aware of the untold stories around me and inside me. I don’t have to figure out the whole story in that moment; I can jot down an idea and come back to it later. As someone who can now barely remember things I need to do day to day without a list, this box is the perfect solution. The hardest part is finding time to come back to those ideas…
But that all got me re-thinking my morning pages… that and how Judy Blume said “Don’t think BOOK, just write a scene, then another scene…” (Yes, clearly I am still doing the MasterClass I vowed to finish in December, but hey – slow and steady wins the race?) (Is anyone racing me?) Maybe instead of trudging along with daily writing being morning pages, I need to make it scenes. Then I’m writing fiction, and hopefully working towards completing something. Win-win? It seems like a nice March goal, anyway – worth a try.